It’s human nature to make assumptions about people, if we are not making assumption of others, than we are dealing with the assumptions that others place on us.
This complicates life considerably.
Life is challenging, it’s impossible to get out of this world without getting scared or giving scars. Sometimes the most painful scars we carry, are the ones we give to ourselves. The worst thing we can do to ourself is to assume that everyone else in this world believes the worst of what we fear about ourself.
The absolute worst assumption I made in life is to belive everyone thought me to be stupid, fat, lazy, and ugly. Because over my lifetime I pretty much made a mess of myself operating from that incorrect assumption. It created a belief so strong in me of my worthlessness that I became a first rate people pleaser. The kind of person that would bend and contort myself to try and make everyone happy.
Can we all agree that’s a recipe for disaster?
Now I work at staying focused on assuming the best out of myself and assuming the best out of others. We really don’t know each others burdens in life. So I figure that since I am trying to make the most of this world with all my strengths and weakness then everyone else is doing just the same. We’re all just trying to get a little more of what we need and want in this world: love, freedom, and peace of mind.
My real friends realize that I can’t possible give them everything they want all the time, and they don’t need me to. Because they know I am a loyal friend that can be trusted, even when they don’t always understand me. That I care about people deeply; I wear my heart on my sleeve and would rather bleed openly then purposefully hurt someone. That I don’t try to control people; I cherish my freedom to come and go and do as I please, so I give that same freedom. I am not a punitive person, and that I genuinely want others to win at life as much as I want to win at life.
I cannot defend myself against every incorrect assumption. Or please everyone, every time, even those I’d like to. I don’t get to decide what people will assume or think of me, I can only control what I will assume or think of me, and how I will assume and think of others.
My job, it’s just to keep working at becoming more of who I am.
None of this was new, profound or poetic, but it is my hard won freedom and peace of mind from years of hard work. I wish all of you more peace of mind too.
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