I have been going through an a package of photos from my grandmothers estate. She has a nice picture bundle of me growing up.
As I look through them I am interested in seeing how much of my life I view from the point of body image and weight. I remember very little of my life other than shit that was going on in my head about how I looked as a girl. It’s kind of sad really, I had so little space in my head to learn something real because it was wrapped up in the fact that I didn’t look the way I “should”.
I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. Somewhere in my head I got this notion that I needed to look pretty to have the permission or right to be interested it the things that I wanted to do. But somehow I could never hit that subjective sweet spot that allowed me to let go and move on to actually doing the things that I was interested in.
I’ve been writing a blog post about these pictures and my memories of my body image (that I am not finished with yet).
But.
In the meantime, I present to you PROOF!
I have NEVER been able to make a good cross-eyes funny face. I know I am trying to make one because my eyelids are so wide open my eyeballs are about to pop outta my head. I think that my body believes that crossed-eyes are related to sticking out my tongue too. Kinda like those Barbie Dolls that had a pony-tail that you could pull outta the top of their head, and then push a button on the back to make her hair short again.
It’s like, MAAAAYBE, if I can get my tongue stuck out far enough my eyes will cross. As you can see, only a slight tongue stick-out-age, and no noticeable eye-cross-age
It’s just a theory, but it hasn’t worked yet.
P.S.
I swear that I don’t sit around taking picture of funny faces all day trying to master this.
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