I ever got was; “Darla, just paint your walls orange, the world won’t fall out of orbit if you do.”
So, I painted my walls orange.
Deep orange.
The deepest burnt orange of a fall leaf, in fact that is the name of it ‘Fall Leaves’. It looked good, really good, so I didn’t stop there. I committed to bold color statements everywhere in my house.
I don’t just have splashes of orange accents; I have whole rooms painted orange, with deep burgundy accent walls. I have a room with plum carpet and sand textured walls that I faux painted to look like sandstone rock walls. A mossy green room, rich cobalt blue rooms. With the exception of those blue rooms, these are the colors that would greet you throughout my home.
Why is this some of the best advice I have ever gotten, and why would anyone give it to me?
I use to be on this quest to decorate my house “right” so I could feel more comfortable with inviting other stay-at-home moms over. Basically, I was desperately trying fit in with this new world of the suburban stay-at-home mom I was in; the well decorated home seemed to be very important.
The friend that gave me the advice to: “just paint my walls orange”, she was one of the moms who was really good at it. Her home was always beautiful! So I was often talking to her about these things; bringing these rich colors to her and trying to figure out the “right” way to use them and always running into; “Your house really isn’t well suited for what you’re wanting to do.” One day in an effort to get me to commit to ANY color, she gave me that advice. Her position was: “Just get it out of your system, it’ll only cost you a little paint and some work. Then you’ll see that your house is just too small and dark for these colors. Then you’ll be over it and can move on to some better choices.”
She was both very right, and, very wrong.
Yes, she was right, the world didn’t “fall out of orbit”; that was early last decade, and here it is Jan, 1, 2013 and were still in the same orbit. But in some ways it did. When I broke these interior decorating rules, I found myself more comfortable. I would walk through the door and say “WOW! I LOVE the color!” This was the beginning of me learning the value of trusting myself; I began to make bold colorful choices that reflected more of who I really was. The end result? I eventually dove off all of the people I had worked so hard to fit in with -even the woman who gave me this advice. They were uncomfortable with me, with how I saw the world. I was like my house: too intense, too colorful, too saturated, too many rough edges for them. But I finally began to feel like me. And I have never regretted the cost, I have found that being me is superior to fitting in.
Often we don’t choose to do the bold things that are going to make us stand out because deep inside we know that it will begin a conflict. We know that some how it will make our world “fall out of orbit.” So we play it safe and do all the little things that help us fit in with our little tribes: family, friends, work, instead of what will make us happy.
It was advice over something insignificant like paint that gave me one of the best filters I have when faced with choices in my life: Will the world and greater humanity continue on if I make this choice that feels like the world might end if I choose wrong?
Well, are you only looking at a ‘little paint and time’ repair if it doesn’t work out? And chances are that is usually what your looking at, then; “Ummm…Yeah! Duh. Get over yourself girl.”
My advice to you?
Now that I have found gritty, rough edged warehouses with barbells, I don’t so much care about paint or decor any longer, but if I did, then go with your orange…
Your deepest.
Richest.
Orange.
The world won’t fall out of orbit.
Well…
Yes. It will.
But that may not be a bad thing.
If fact, it might be just what you needed all along.
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