You know I still have a hard time realizing that I am in my forties already. If you woke me up in the middle if the night and said; “Quick tell me how old you are!”
I’d say twenty-four, maybe twenty-six.
I had a conversation not long ago with a young woman in her early twenties and I found myself surprised at how I felt my years and experience over hers as I listened to her talk. Even though I was admiring and a bit envious of her confidence and self possession at such a young age, I was a bit saddened too. Because she has it all planned out. To the detail. Her career, her home, her future kids, everything.
Her husband even seemed as an extension of her and her plans and not really his own person. It was mostly sweet and doe eyed romantic stuff, nothing seemed wrong on the surface. But I’ve been around the block a few times and seen my share of these ladies in the world, and I knew that in the long run this man would not be allowed a Man Cave. Or personal space, or an opinion, or any control over the direction of his life.
Let me tell any of you ladies out there that may listen to me: Man Caves are important. I know some women have a hard time understanding that, but not me really.
Now follow me on this, a Man Cave is not a place as much as it is space. Men need space to express themselves, where there’s no fear of punishment from the lady folks they care about -be that partner, sister, mother, friend.
I have my own opinions (that I won’t go in to today) as to why men need this more than women, but truth be told, everyone needs a Man Cave. That space were we don’t feel like we have to tow the line. To my eyes, the most loving thing we can do for the people we care about is to pay attention to the ways and places a person enjoys expressing themselves, then either help or stay out of their way of being able to do that; let the people you care about express who they really are.
Back to Mars and Venus, sometimes the very thing blocking Mr. Mars enjoyment of his cave is you, dear Ms. Venus. So if you care about Mr. Mars and you see the chances of him enjoying his Man Cave time will be slim to nil if you’re there -don’t take it personally, just pick your butt up and move it on out and give him some space.
No fuss, no muss, no drama. It’s really just space for them to be who they want to be without limits or fear of judgment and rejection, that’s all it is…
…cross my heart…
They’ll thank you for it in the end.
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